dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize