At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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