We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
