Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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