He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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