Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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