walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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