i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
