There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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