i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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