So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
