The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
We need to rekindle our bromance
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize