Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
