The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize