Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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