LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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