I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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