I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
