she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
