you guys were way drunker than both of me
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize