here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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