Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
