i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
