Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
