Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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