the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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