Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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