So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize