shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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