Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize