thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
