Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
