pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
