Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
