people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
