I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
