You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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