I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I party with great urgency now.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
