I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
