Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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