is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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