I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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