Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
