Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
