why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
