I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
the day after is always just damage control
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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