Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
