Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Randomize
