HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
