cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
