im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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