Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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