i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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