do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I just want to make out with him forever
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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