I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
