Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
